Tag Archives: Communication

Courage at Twilight: First Big Blunder

John Wayne stayed in Tooele, and Hannah went with her mom. But Brian and Avery came and to help me unload the truck.  Lila (almost 2) ran around talking and playing and exploring and shyly approaching Mom and Dad, her great-grandparents.  I had communicated, I was sure, with Mom and Dad about where I thought it best to store my belongings: in the main basement room against the east wall.  In fact, I had not discussed it with them.  I had only imagined discussing it, and had fabricated, apparently, a memory both of the conversation and of their assent.  But this was not the storage location they preferred: putting my stuff there would turn their family gathering place into a storage room.  I was stunned, not at their preference—it is their house and their space, and my obligation and opportunity to respect them.  Rather, I was stunned at my having transformed the fantasy of my unuttered thoughts into the reality of a memory of a conversation that never took place.  Dad pointed me to a small unfinished area of the basement I was confident would not fit my belongings.  But I did some quick organizing, laid down my 2x4s, and got ready to bring in the boxes.  I applied a wide strip of amazingly adhesive plastic down the stairs to the basement and up the stairs and down the hall to my room.  I did not want the boot traffic and black dolly wheels to ruin the light-colored shag.  Clanking down the stairs with boxes of books on the dolly was a chore straining our arms and legs and back.  Brian and I were sore the next day!  On the moving-in side, Brian and Avery were my heroes.  By night’s end, I was, simply, exhausted, took two Aleve, and fell like a boulder into bed.  But not without remembering sheepishly my first new-home blunder, committed before even moving in.  I will need to be extra careful to clearly communicate so as to navigate my space while not infringing on theirs.  Fortunately, Mom and Dad are generous, flexible, and forgiving.

I Waited for You

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Some of us wait silently to be loved, wait expectantly for our needs to be met.  Others of us demand to be loved with stomping feet and a sharp tongue.  The fortunate among us have learned to express their needs in ways that the listener understands, respects, and responds.  We are all different in how we approach life and love, yet we all want and deserve love.  My hope is that, rather than waiting for love or demanding love, we will learn to seek love in healthy, positive ways.  Beyond this, my prayer is that we will first offer love and kindness to others, thus inviting love and kindness to come back to us.

This poem personalizes one seemingly ill-fated approach to finding love.  What do you think the poem’s speaker could have done differently?  Should the speaker have done anything differently?  Was the speaker’s approach unreasonable?  Consider posting your answer in the comment section below.

I WAITED FOR YOU

I waited for you:
Waited for you to come to me.
But you did not.
I waited for you
Like the crimson clouds after the tired sun drops behind the mountains.
When you came to me at last,
I had faded and gone.

I waited for you:
Waited for you to touch me.
But you did not.
I waited for you
Like a dry, dusty leaf under a charcoal sky when the soothing rain won’t fall.
When you reached for me at last,
I had withered and gone.

I waited for you:
Waited for you to smile at me.
But you did not.
I waited for you
Like a famished infant yearning to suck from her mother’s ripe, fragrant breast.
When you smiled at me at last,
I had drifted and gone.