On the first day of every month, Mom’s scheduled task is to “make out the bills,” which means writing a check for each utility, communications, insurance, medical, and tax bill, etc. By the end of the day, a tall stack of envelopes is addressed and stamped and feeding her anxiety for immediate posting, which means I am to take her—now—to the post office or the copy & mail store. She doesn’t trust placing outgoing mail in the mailbox, not that she should. Last month, the County Treasurer sent Mom a check refunding a tax payment because she had paid it twice. Another refund check came from her doctor, whom Mom had paid twice for the same visit. On the doctor bill, I give her the benefit of the doubt, because invoices and payments can cross in the mail. The tax bill she simply somehow paid twice. I am monitoring the frequency of refund checks before deciding whether I need to start helping her make out the bills.
Rabbit Lane 
I’m smiling, Roger. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Missed seeing your posts.. Hope all is well with you and mom.
LikeLike
Thank you! I began to worry that my posts had begun to sound like complaints from a selfish son. Mom is sweet and deserves praise despite her challenges. If I can find a way to write more positively, I will!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t beat yourself up. Being a caregiver is an incredibly difficult, challenging and yet in the end rewarding job. The frustration is real.
When I would vent my frustrations to my mother, she would say, “I’m not stubborn. I’m sweet and darling.”
In the beginning, I really struggled trying to determine if my mother was helpless a lady or a crafty old bitty. Money disappearing, accusations that I was stealing, doing things that made caring more difficult.
When I accepted that she truly did not understand the changes that I could see. It changed my view and it put me at peace. I had to let go of those mother daughter triggers that set me off like a bull seeing a red flag, and just a acknowledged that this is the new relationship. I wrote a lot about my mom 2018 – 2021. It is very therapeutic. But if you ever need to vent privately, I am a good listener.
It is not easy but try to see the humor in it. You are correct your mom is sweet, however don’t forget you are a son adjusting and doing your best in an incredibly difficult situation.
LikeLike
Thank you for your very kind and understanding comment. I’m sorry for being so slow to respond. I am just now finding the emotional and mental space to come back to the writing, and really appreciate your encouragement.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t think it’s “complaining”, I love reading what you write. I feel much the same way very often and it’s validating to see some of the same thoughts reflected here in your writing.
LikeLike
I’m sorry for disappearing for more than a month. And I’m glad to see you back. I really appreciate your supportive comment. At the risk of seeming to complain about my mother and her condition, I’ve prepared additional entries about my experience living with her dementia, and will begin publishing them now. I appreciate your understanding and encouragement. And I hope you are doing great.
LikeLike